Fruitcakes

I don't get all the annual hate over fruitcakes. Have you ever had a well-made fruitcake? They make it with rum.

Am I making myself obvious here? Fruitcakes are booze. They're basically cocktails in dessert form. How can you not like this? Fruitcakes are heavy and dense for the same reason highball glasses only hold 8 ounces. You're not supposed to consume a lot of them.

I reckon most people only encounter prepackaged fruitcakes a là Trader Joe. That's like judging martinis because you can't stand Shirley Temples.