Axoplasm / Web-log / 2011

December

2011-12-29

I secretly love having a fever...

...lying in bed shivering and insensible, fingers white and numb, beyond discomfort or pain, chasing psychedelic butterflies along the edge of consciousness. But then it...

Heavily filtered riverscape, orange sky and rising sun reflected in the Willamette river

2011-12-21

Burn your ships

Last week I wrote, in reference to the lousy bus service at our new house: Just as Cortés burned his ships, I’ve burned my buses,...

2011-12-20

Fifteen years ago today

I miss that Real Grownups (like Johnny Carson!) took seriously a gentle man in a turtleneck who spoke about “star stuff.”I miss that science was...

2011-12-18

Never ask me what I think, Internet

TriMet asked what I think about their budget shortfall so I told ’em. Using their tool I balanced their budget with only a 25¢ fare...

2011-12-16

There’s a “war on Christmas” in the same sense that Tyler Durden and Jack the Narrator had a “fistfight”

Consider: every time a non-Christian is exhorted to have a “Merry Christmas,” the holiday itself becomes less about Christ and more about something else. Presents...

Bicycle leaning against a dock railing on the Willamette River, with the Steel Bridge in the background. Filtered to appear like a faded slide

2011-12-09

A short rant: let’s downsize roads

The ongoing fracas about the ongoing budget stupidity of the Columbia River Crossing prompted me to write an awesome little rant. As a comment on...

2011-12-06

Fast and faster

Dave Moulton wants a bumper sticker: “I’m retired: Just go around me.” The whole thing is worth a read, it totally gets at the zen...

November

2011-11-21

Clearance (Race Report: Kruger’s Crossing, 11/20/2011)

Once upon a time I made fun of people who spent their hard-earned money on boutique canti brakes with excessively wide “clearance.” The physics of...

2011-11-15

Beat that climb back

sufferfaces:Beat that Climb Back Just across the border from Washington, in Portland, at PIR, the Suffer Faces are on full display like this one full...

2011-11-14

Unintended Consequences

As I mentally drafted a typical (read: long) report for yesterday’s race, I realized that I was actually meditating on the unintended consequences of my...

2011-11-14

My Three-Year-Old Races Cyclocross (Race Report: Cross Crusade #8 PIR Pro Paddock)

Perfect ’cross weather (spitting rain and cool, not cold), wheel-devouring mud, moderately technical, long sprints, great crowd, great venue, staged last, finished 55th of 191:...

2011-11-06

Barton

Race Report: Cross Crusade #7 (Barton Park)We’re finally getting some mud in our ’cross races. Barton was my favorite race last year. There were no...

2011-11-05

I will brag about this race all week (Race Report: Pedalers at the Poor Farm, McMenamin’s Edgefield, 11/4/2011)

I was dubious about this race. A new venue, an unfamiliar promoter, same day as the Apple Core, poorly promoted. It seemed kinda ... slapped...

October

2011-10-31

Not fun (Race Report: Cross Crusade #5 & #6, Old Mill District, Bend)

Fourth consecutive week of dry racing. The fun quotient is evaporating rapidly. I wish I could say the Halloweeniness this week compensated but nah, not...

2011-10-28

Oregon Field Guide — Cyclocross

View this on OPB.org: the CCX segment starts around 19:00. Filmed last year at Barton near Estacada. You can catch a glimpse of Orion and...

Empty bench in front of a colorfully-painted wooden barn, sign reads “Coffee mill workshop, Holualoa”

2011-10-27

Vampire

So while I’m backing up my personal photos on a new computer, iPhoto is replaying my life in reverse chronological order, and all the good...

A toddler in a monkey costume and a man in a yellow hat, for Halloween

2011-10-25

Halloween costumes

I am the laziest costume thinker-upper in the world.One year in college I wrote “SUPERMAN” on my chest in blue marker and went topless to...

2011-10-25

Jake the Snake

Just heard back from Kona on the 2004 frame that snapped clean through at Rainier. Warranty expired in 2008. I can buy a "crash replacement"...

2011-10-24

Scary fast, brutal and unforgiving (Race Report: Cross Crusade #4, Washington Co. Fairgrounds, 10/23/2011)

This course should be a Dogawful slopfest, pancake flat and routed through stables and manure. It should be all about who can power through the...

2011-10-21

This weekend

This weekend: Cross Crusade #4 at Washington Co. Fairgrounds, Hillsboro. In 2009, I took Orion here to spectate; my first taste-test of the ’cross scene....

2011-10-18

I feel stupid, and contagious

So right now I’m listening to the excessive 4-disc reissue of NevermindNevermind is very much Of My Generation — I was just barely 20 when...

2011-10-17

Fast and annoying (Race Report: Cross Crusade #3, PIR Heron Lakes)

I worked insanely hard for 81st place. My hips are wrenched from all the dis/remounts. I could barely walk yesterday afternoon, let alone carry the...

2011-10-14

Your first cyclocross race

My friend Thom posted a longish and helpful blog post called Cyclocross for Beginners. BikePortland contributor Tori Bortman has written several primers about cyclocross. I’m...

2011-10-13

Race Report: Blind Date at the Dairy #3, 10/12/2011

I had a pretty fantastic race. The conditions were nearly perfect for my strengths: chaos and ceaseless pedaling. The week’s rain had squished the dairy...

2011-10-12

Blind Date at the Dairy

Feeling good about tonight's Blind Date. I finished on the leader's lap and passed a mess of Cat C riders. Messy slippery chaotic 30min redline...

2011-10-10

Challengers

There happened a particular moment in my life, about a decade ago, so unlike my life before or since that it feels more like a...

2011-10-09

DFL Before DNF (Race Report: Cross Crusade #2, Rainier High School)

So about two minutes into the first lap my seat stay broke. Of course I didn’t bring a pit bike. (FFR: always bring a pit...

2011-10-06

The only thing I’m going to say about Steve Jobs

I’m a loooong time Apple fanboy — I have never owned another kind of computer, since my first Mac LC in 1991, and the first...

2011-10-05

So on Saturday night on Lopez Island...

...after putting the kids to bed I sat on the porch in my shorts under a wool blanket with a beer and watched the sun...

September

2011-09-26

Race Report: Battle at Barlow

Chris and I switched (downgraded?) to Master’s C. The Good: we are now racing against Guys Like Us (i.e. old men). The Bad: I don’t...

2011-09-23

This bike is a platform (thoughts for the Oregon Manifest)

In 2007, I bought this Soma Double Cross — notionally a cyclocross racing bike — for commuting. I fitted it with racks, full fenders, 32c...

2011-09-19

Race Report: Hood River Valley HS Double Cross (GPMC #2), Saturday only, 9/17/2011

At Hood River on Saturday it was spitting rain but not enough to wet the ground. So the conditions were dusty and gritty. I’m beginning...

2011-09-14

Electro Pace for Great Justice

I discovered a new training regimen for my usual commute (along Terwilliger): outpace electric bikes. This is hard. They accelerate uphill.I’m seeing more and more...

2011-09-13

Dreaming of Cowbells

Dreaming of cowbells. Literally: I had a dream last night with cowbells in it. Man oh man.

2011-09-08

Saltzman Rd.

Mini Ride Report I did this after work. Three repeats up Saltzman, it was brutal. My legs are nuked from all the sprinting lately, so...

Shadow of bicycle & rider, across railroad tracks, taken by the rider

2011-09-07

Another post where I brag about my commute

Jenny and I have lived in SW Portland for eight-plus years now because of the exceptional commute. We certainly chose our first house for this...

2011-09-03

Race Report: David Douglas Cyclocross (GPMC #1) 9/3/2011

The race was a minor sideshow to my fortieth fricking birthday. Last night Jenny and Karl and my bestest friends completely surprised me. On my...

August

2011-08-29

Kruger’s Kermesse Race Report 8/28/2011

Let’s just get this out of the way: I hate excuses. I have no shortage of excuses for my performance yesterday, and I thought of...

2011-08-17

♥ Golf to work

I like my commute so much I make it longer, and do it on the weekends

2011-08-03

Love Love Love

Yesterday I worked late and missed Orion’s bedtime. Jenny promised him I would spend some alone time with him this morning before work. I resented...

2011-08-02

PIR Short Track MTB Race Report 8/2/2011

Let’s get these three important data points out of the way:I finished 35 of 90 (!) despite staging in the back third I staged right...

July

2011-07-28

PIR Short Track MTB Race Report 7/25/2011

Yikes! I forgot Monday’s ride report! Here’s a quickie: To a certain degree, you could copy and paste my last STMTB report and that would...

A cornfield that fills the frame to the horizon, about waist high to a young woman facing away from the camera about 10' distant

2011-07-13

Rounding the bend

The last three weeks have provided a lot of drama for my inner life. In no order: At work we are launching yet. Another. Redesign....

June

2011-06-14

PIR Short Track MTB Race Report 6/13/2011

Reporting on my first ever Short Track MTB race challenges me a little.About five minutes after the race I tweeted: #STXC race report: I almost...

2011-06-07

PIR Race Report 6/6/2011

A rather different week than previous outings. My family picked me up at the office early (before 5:00) so Orion could ride in the Kiddie...

May

2011-05-10

PIR Race Report 5/9/2011

I started last night’s race in a highly unorthodox fashion. Without a watch, I had no idea when the start was coming and it snuck...

Motion blur: a foot pedaling a steel road racing bicycle

2011-05-03

PIR Ride Report 5/2/2011

The ride from my office (Old Town) to PIR (7mi) was a good warmup.The weather behaved itself. No rain, maybe 55°. We had mostly sun...

April

2011-04-20

The hazards of pinning your two-year-old race number to your messenger bag

So yesterday I was homebound riding south up SW Broadway. Just before the complex intersection where Broadway crosses I-405 another cyclist passed me. There was...

2011-04-08

Four variables

My life is a rather simple zero-sum equation with four variables.I play with my family. I work. I ride or fix my bicycles. I sleep...

moderate closeup of a mountain bike in the snow

2011-04-04

Like P.J. O’Rourke I too wish bicyclists would “pay their way”

Sigh.The late, great P.J. O’Rourke took on bike lanes (after a 24-year hiatus), thus affirming his continuing slide into Andy Rooney-grade irrelevance.Seriously, it’s not even...

March

2011-03-19

The one hour DC Tour

I’ve visited the capital cities of at least nine foreign countries but it took me 40 years to visit my own. I feared that between...

2011-03-03

Driver’s tests should indicate an ability to drive

About a month ago, a woman driving through my neighborhood turned to check on her dog in the backseat of her car, and hit a...

February

2011-02-16

I just packed 15 depressing events into 90 minutes

Macy’s watch repair finally, after six months, called to inform me that they once again had in their possession my beloved Seiko watch I bought...

Orion as a baby playing with a computer keyboard

2011-02-04

I wish I’d have learned more about work from my paper route

Tom Vanderbilt writes, in “The Rise and Fall of the American Paperboy” Ask a former paperboy about the job and you’re likely to summon a...

January

2011-01-18

Grocery Ads Still Live in the 1950s

The hed on this Ad Age post is Survey Finds 51% of Men Are Primary Grocery Shoppers, but Few Believe Advertising Speaks to Them Can...

2011-01-06

LEGO: Builders of Tomorrow

These are all over the Internet right now, but of uncertain parentage. They are AWESOME.