Agnostic

I used to like discussing (debating, arguing about) “God,” specifically the Abrahamic definition(s) of God, most specifically God’s putative “existence.”

I used to regard myself as an “atheist,” but this never quite fit. That term lacks spiritual dimensions, and has this extra baggage of “rejecting God,” which I never did. I never had a God-shaped hole in my life. If anything it’s the reverse: like a donut, the hole defines my life. There is everything I see and perceive and think, and there is everything else. The second part is infinitely larger than the first, and this true for every human being, and for the sum total of all human knowledge.

It took me at least 30 years to realize: of all of (Western/Abrahamic) God’s possible properties — omniscience, omnipotence, omnibenevolence, and so forth — “existence” is maybe the least interesting. After all: lots of intangibles unambiguously “exist.” Money, love, patriotism, trigonometry. They are embedded in institutions, shape our daily lives, behave according to understandable principles, evolve.

“Agnostic” comes from the Greek ἄγνωστος — “not knowing.” That fits.