My Inner Republican

Nothing activates my Inner Republican faster than a fellow citizen passive-aggressively chiding me for innocuous behaviors (and sometimes even for noxious ones).

I think this explains ~50% of the COVID backlash by the way. America had no problem wearing masks when it was, like, a law, but it got annoying when our neighbors started tsking us for wearing them wrong.

I believe every liberal & lefty has an Inner Republican and they should truthfully identify what triggers it.

My Inner Republican looks like Fred Thompson. A grumpy old white guy. He has no patience for people who can’t get their shit together, and paradoxically hall monitor types who keep getting into other people’s shit. He saves 10% of his paycheck and thinks you should too. He lives a small-c conservative life but doesn’t give a shit about whatever floats your boat. He cusses but won’t take the Lord’s name in vain. He thinks he deserves a cookie for identifying his racial prejudices but they still surprise him. Because he “doesn’t see color.”

(Please note this is what my inner Republican thinks “you” should do. “You” includes “me.” I don’t save 10% of my paycheck, for example. I am not my Inner Republican and neither are you.)

TBH it’s the passive aggression, not just busybodyness per se, that sets off my Inner Republican.

“Please put your dog on a leash,” Ok you’re giving me a reasonable request, sure thing comrade.

“You know there’s a leash law here don’t you?” MYOFB commie asshole, this is a free country I do what I want.

I appreciate that there are not a lot of Outer Republicans who look and act like this any more, in the year 2025.