My Proudest Piece of Writing Ever

On Stumptown Coffee’s Facebook Page:

I traveled back in time from the 28th century and constructed an elaborate cover life solely for the purpose of reviewing Stumptown coffee on Facebook. ITS THAT GOOD. ID GIVE IT ELEVENTY MILLION STARS IF I COULD.

In the 28th century Coffea arabica is extinct so we have to get all our coffee via time travel. Panda bears are also extinct but weve genetically engineered an even cuter kind of Chinese bear. Also weve stopped using apostrophes in contractions.

Otherwise life in the 28th century is just like the 21st century. Except for the cyborgs.